An Extroverted Extrovert’s Guide to Traveling with Introverted Kids

Truth be told, I am what my mom calls an “extrovert on steroids” (and trust me, Alan does NOT disagree).  I thrive on any interaction with humans – chatting with a stranger in an elevator, spending an evening with dear college friends, mentoring my student teachers, visiting with extended family, playing games with my four kiddos and their friends, volunteering at my kids’ school, attending parties and holiday celebrations, going on a hot date with my hubby and then inadvertently running into people we know, which turns into an evening catching up with friends instead (sorry, babe)!  Most of my friends assume I will run into someone I know when we are together.  It’s almost a proven fact, almost.  I can’t help it – I LOVE people!  If you are familiar with the Enneagram, I am a 2 wing 3!  This means I am the HELPER who loves to serve, almost to a fault, and am caring (usually) and interpersonal.  Yup, that’s me!  So, what does this have to do with traveling?  HEAPS, especially since I am pretty certain I am raising at least one if not two introverts (or at least ambiverts) – God help me!  🙂

Over the past few years, I have learned that my ways are not always everyone else’s.  Say what?!  Instead I have discovered that there is a gentle balance found within the planning of vacations for our family to meet my extroverted needs as well as my introverted family members’ needs.  This enlightenment has not come easily, as I have story after story about how my need to move and do and see and be and interact with others has caused major contention between my family and me.  I have exhausted them all to no end and then we all come home grumpy, tired, and in need of, you guessed it, a vacation!

So, here is a simple guide for all of you EXTROVERTED EXTROVERTS who want nothing more than to whisk your dearest introverts away on adventures near and far, but fear you will send them into shock!  This is also a guide for all of you INTROVERTED INTROVERTS who want nothing more than to lock yourselves in your bedchambers forever without a single step out into the world because of … other PEOPLE!!!  I think these tips will enlighten you and hopefully encourage you too!  There is hope that we can coexist!

Tip #1 – Limit Your Activities

When planning a vacation choose ONE or TWO major adventures in a seven-day period, three max.  Yup, that’s it!  DO NOT, and I seriously mean this, DO NOT even possibly think your family will survive a National Lampoon’s Vacation where you pack five activities in a day with only two potty breaks and maybe one meal (not to mention the possible mishaps along the way)!  This is just not worth it (unless you are going to Disney, but even then it seems insane in my opinion).  The best vacations we have as a family are the ones where I take a deep breath from trying to pack it all in, and instead choose to relish in the simple of one or two fun things.

Tip #2 – Rest Time

Plan time each day for REST TIME.  Yes, I know.  This seems counterintuitive to everything you are, but this time is so life-giving!  Schedule this REST TIME – add it to your calendars, put it on the itinerary, make it happen.  During this break from the crazy, you can catch up on your unending line-up of podcasts (I think I am up to 245 waiting in my app at the moment), read a book (I know – it’s that rectangular prism-shaped object made of paper with words all over the pages – I have about 5,000 in my virtual stack on my phone waiting), watch a movie, take a nap (again, this seems counterintuitive, but trust me, it’s not), write a post for your travel blog, or go for a walk by yourself while everyone else does the above – this might be your one chance to talk with someone else during rest time, so plan your route wisely if this is something you know you will need.  Finding time to refresh, to take some intentional moments to clear your mind, and to reset are vital to the health and happiness of your introverted family members.  They will thrive during these moments of rest and you will too, you just don’t know it yet!  Their thriving will be fuel for the rest of the activities and events you have planned!

Tip #3 – Research and Make Lists

If you are anything like me, you are in a constant state of feeling like you are missing out on something (anything).  This is one of the biggest challenges with traveling as you do not want to miss out on anything that could be potentially incredible for your family to experience.  Here’s where the pre-trip research comes in.  Get your entire family involved (if possible) by researching your destination – let each member make a list of their “musts” and lay all of those ideas out to check together.  You might be surprised with what you discover – your quietest, most reserved child might have her heart set on riding roller coasters, while your more adventurous one may request a week of laying on the beach and eating tacos for dinner every night.  Once everyone’s voice has been heard, make a trip bucket list (or just a list if you feel like the ‘bucket list’ idea is way overused) – attend to each person’s #1 at some point on your trip.  Now, if you have limited time and/or limited resources, then add this to the initial research – “Free Activities in _______” would be a good place to start or “How to see ________ in a day”.  This planning and list making will also help you carry out Tip #1!

That’s it!  Follow these 3 simple tips and you will hopefully create a greater sense of peace among the extroverts and introverts in your family while traveling!

And just for fun, here is a super cool infographic on Introverts vs. Extroverts!

Note: One of the greatest challenges I have found with traveling as a family is not so much my extroverted-ness, but my CONTROL ISSUES (and anxiety)…so stay tuned for some tips about how to shake some of the control off to enjoy traveling with kids!